To recap the previous 30 Day Challenges.
A. This weblog (successful)
B. Tracking using my spreadsheets (not so much)
C. Fruit or Veggie to start the day (most days)
D. Sps Attention (successful)
E = Scribble down five reasons so make healthier choices, each day. (half assed)
For the new 30 Day Challenge, we are going back to task D. I have some new insights from the first round of giving the spouse more attention, and I would like to do the task again. I didn’t do it badly the first round, I simply have more information now to make him feel valued in a more targeted way.
Why have that as a goal in the first place? Honestly, it’s important for me to be a good wife. I am doing all of the things to be a valued spouse, but am I focused enough on what HE needs specifically? Complacency creeps in without warning. I see no reason why I can’t make a few more deposits than usual into the relationship bank account from time to time. I’d feel more spoiled than I already do if he were ever to do the same.
A few of the many actions I am taking to give extra focus.
- Physical touch is his love language. While i do feel I am available for the obvious expression of this need (love that man), there are other ways to show him he is loved. Hugs in the morning before work, if I am awake. Bear hug when he gets home. Something I already do but sometimes miss a day.
- He almost never sees me in the morning. It means a lot to him for me to be awake and make his breakfast so I think I’ll set the alarms a few times and surprise him with some of his favorites. Fried egg sandwiches, poached eggs and toast…
- We have vastly different sleep schedules. I am making it a point to snuggle into bed with him til he goes to sleep, rubbing his back, before going back to my tasks. I have a schedule that allows flexibility, I think spending that flexibility on him is vital to the health of our relationship. He’s a cuddler, as am I. It’s a crucial requirement he needs to feel loved and appreciated and so worth the time. Speak your partner’s love language fluently, the dividends are greater than the effort, imo.
- Research a musician, read a book about one of his interests that I do not share. I purchased an anthology of science fiction so I could have more in depth conversations about topics he enjoys. The reading helps my reading goal as well.
- Be more romantic. Bought him some toys. Lit candles in the bedroom, take the fun outside the bedroom. Surprising him with something different. This will be a whole-ass article on it’s own. *eg*
- Continue and with renewed focus, do check-in to see how he feels about things. As always, in a relaxed environment with more listening than talking. I love talking.
- The hard things. The few things about myself that he finds challenging. Is there an area where I am set in my ways to the detriment of the relationship or to him? Yes. Working on it. THAT is where I am focusing my time the most. The rest of the items on this list are things I already do for him to a lesser degree and do not take much time.
I am worth the hard work he puts into me & he is worth the same.
Grateful For:
-A spouse to spoil
-my new car, loving it!
-a productive day. Lot of cleaning and writing done.
-still no snow on the ground. It’s USDA Zone 5 in mid-November!
Godspeed Y’all
This content was previously written to ensure this was a true series, and to share insights that hindsight provides.
The End