I have made a lot of changes in the past many years. Where before I would just dive straight into the deep dark, yet refreshing waters of vindictiveness when I felt attacked (which was often), now I take many many moments to reflect before speaking. I am not cured of this disease, but I am well down the road of recovery. I have years of practice. I’ll always still be *that* person that just tells it like it is, but I genuinely do look for the kinder reality to reflect back to my communication partner. Blogging is for my bitchy moments. A screen and strangers to whom none of my ire is directed is a smarter choice.
Today was a challenge. I think Covid and a few other things just wears on a person. Today was a day where I said a lot under my breath. Not the fake under-my-breath-but-I-meant-for-them-to-hear-me, but actual whispering shit to myself, rooms away from other people. UGH!
We are all just tired of this. We miss normal. Part of me wonders if the realization we have created a new structure to our day to day and have realized this is now normal is the reason for the short temper. Does that disregard the genuine concerns addressed and assigns additional meaning where there is none? It is an excuse, a misdirection? It’s not me, it’s not him, it’s The Times We Live In. I am grateful for the work I have done on my mental help. I’d hate to think how I would handle now with the issues I had a decade ago.
Grateful:
- Another day healthy. Bless up.
- That I successfully deployed my DON’T SAY IT! skills.
- That I got yet another kick ass Instacart shopper.
- I found a good price for seed potatoes for next year. It was a whole ass drama last season, and the seasons before that.
Godspeed y’all!